Lets Begin!

Well Ive decided to blog! I dont even know where to start on my journey so Ill start from the begening!

Tom and I want more than anything to start a family! We were trying and trying and finally went to the doctor and said hey.. somethings up!
First they tested Tom via a SA and that came back fine! then they did an hsg on me and that came back fine! so I was revered to my ob for further testing... He concluded that I had whats called anovulatory cycles! meaning that I have periods I just dont ovulate!
Yeah we finally had an answer to our problem.. something we thought was going to be easily fixable! boy were we wrong.
first step, clomid 50 mg! I was so excited I was sure it would work.. but ultrasound after ultrasound blood work after blood work it never worked. I went all the way up to 150 mg! we even tried adding estrogen to the process! we temped we did everything we were supposed to! So my ob finally said to me.. there was nothing he could do and I needed to see a Reproductive Endocromologist!

Well after the month wait to get it I got to see Dr Brinton! he reviewed my chart and immediatly thought I had PCOS. so he put me on metformin... did bloodwork and said take this and we will wait for the bloodwork to come back! well I took the metformin and I was miserable.. I was literally coming out both ends! I couldnt stand it! so at my next appoitment I told the doc I was miserable! he said that my blood work came back and I did not have pcos and the it was fine for me to discontinue the met! SO I asked whats next! He said He wanted me to try FSH or whats known as Gonal - F! we started out at 2 75 amps a day and on day 10 i would have an ultrasoind and low and behold again I didnt grow enough follies.. so he uped my dose for 3 days to 3 amps a day! again they didnt grow! so for the next couple of days I was switched over to bravelle and repronex mixed! I went in for the u/s and I did it.. I had mature follies! so that day I got my trigger of hcg to drop the eggs and we were told to go home and have FUN! if you know what I mean! well sadly even though I did ovulate I didnt concieve! I did however get moderate hyperstimulation and was put on bedrest for a week!

I was a bit overwhelmed at the whole thing so I decided to take a break! well in June we decided it was time to try again.. the whole city was out of bravelle so we went back to gonal-f ! we however upped the dose to 225 a day and added 75 repronex to that! my first ultrasound came back that I was growing a ton of follies and we needed to cut the repronex and lower the gonal f! so we did and my second u/s came back good I had 5 follies! we triggered and were told to do the babydance!
well again I overstimulated! only this time it didnt get better it got worse! and the reason for that was we were PREGNANT! I didnt care about how much pain I was in it was all worth it to me! We did it we were going to have our family! well the ohss got worse and I needed to be hospitalised! I needed to have fluid pumped into me! while I was there they put me on heparin shots but only after 2 days of being there! the ohss slowly was getting worse.. the dilotted did help the pain but it made me very tired! well they rechecked my beta and instead of doubling again it dropped! I went from 189 to 105 in 2 days! I knew right away that it was over! but the doc kept saying I may have only lost one and my numbers could go back up! Well I was right they didnt they were at 29.. we were devistated! I was released from the hospital and told to go home and wait to bleed! ughh it took a week but I finally blead! That was harder yet!

However I am a christian and I know God has a plan for me! I trust that he will heal my womb as he did Hannahs and that he will fullfill my desire to be a mother! I believe fully that he would not have given me that disire if he didnt intend on making me one!

So while we wait for the doctors say on our next step we are charting and using the clearplan! I want to see if I could ov on my own. they say that a woman is more fertile after a m/c so if thats true I wonder if it would hold up for me too!